"The most relaxed bride I've ever seen"
…These were my Mum’s words at my recent wedding. And she’s seen a lot of brides in her life!
I didn’t have one moment of stress or nerves throughout the lead up or on our wedding day. It truly was one of the most fun and fulfilling things I’ve ever created.
Was there adrenalin? Yes. But it was the good, exciting, butterflies in your tummy kind. Not the stressful, panic, I’m going to have a breakdown kind.
I attribute most of my chilled-out energy and flow of planning of our wedding to my regular meditation practice. I tapped into my presence and mindfulness, all the way along the planning process and made a decision to enjoy and embrace it - all the little moments - the conversations, the meetings, the emails, seeing the visions of our suppliers. I also checked in with myself - my intuition and heart to help me make decisions.
For me, a wedding day has never been just about THE day. I tried to stay as grounded as possible with a constant undercurrent of why the wedding day was happening. The love. The celebration. The fun. The romance. Why save all that for one day (that goes so quickly!), and not embrace it in the lead up too?
The other key to being a relaxed bride is down to good planning and the hiring of the most incredible wedding suppliers I could get my hands on, who were all so creative and experienced in their respective fields.
With good planning, comes trust that once all the plans are made and the run sheet is confirmed, that I could sit back and enjoy all the hard work, and not worry about it.
And did it all go off without a single problem? Nope! There were little things on the day that didn’t go to plan, but I didn’t sweat it. Freaking out about them wouldn’t have changed anything.
‘Previous Kate’ (the control freak version) would have had a wedding day that felt very different. Being OCD, worrying, full of panic, perfectionism to an unhealthy level. I also would have had sleepless nights fuelled by stress - instead, I had trouble going to sleep because I was so excited!
So from a stress-management standpoint, here are my tips for planning a love-filled, magical event:
Continue self-care - It’s so easy to get so obsessed by something, that your normal routine falls off the radar. But when something very out of the ordinary is happening and free time is limited, is the best time to maintain the things in your life that fill you up. For me, that was exercise, eating well and meditating.
When you are calm, so are the people around you - I like to think that my relaxed nature meant that everyone I worked with and everyone that helped us, fed off that calm energy. Stress can be contagious and it puts people on edge. By staying grounded, open minded and calm, encouraged everyone involved to also do what they do, in the most flowing way.
Ask for help - You don’t get an award at your wedding or event for being a one-woman show and running yourself into the ground doing everything yourself. Our wedding was very much a team effort. We embraced friends and families strengths and willingness and are still humbled at all my loved ones who bent over backwards to contribute to our planning and day. Plus, it made it extra special to share those special moments that have now become beautiful memories.
Be organised - I was in the thick of trimester 1 of pregnancy for our wedding and although the pregnancy was planned, I certainly couldn’t plan how I was going to feel! Again, I trusted it would all be ok and because we’d done all the planning prior, I could focus on other things - like resting and growing a human.
Just because its tradition, you don’t have to do it - You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to share your sacred day with. You don’t have to do any traditional wedding things that don’t align with you. Eg. Anth hates ties and traditional suits, so we ditched them - for him and all our male guests, with the dress code “winter wedding attire - and no ties required”. Anth and I got ready together, amongst our family and friends and those hours before the wedding were so fun! We did a first look to have a private moment before guests arrived. We sat for most of our ceremony. Anth’s aunties were flowergirls. Our songs weren’t traditional, but suited our story perfectly. There were no readings. We had speeches/toasts as part of our ceremony. There were no awkward posed photos. We chose to sneak off and cut our cake without anyone knowing. We did the whole day our way, and we loved every second of it!
Hire suppliers that align with your style and values - For me, these were intuitive decisions. I just knew in my heart when I found suppliers that were going to do mine and Anthony’s love and style, justice. Each and everyone we hired, were so creative and kind, collaborating with Anth and I to create a day that was unique to us.
Here’s a shout out to the talented people who made it happen who I could not recommend highly enough. Anth and I want to have another wedding so we can experience our magical day and work with these legends again!…..
MAKEUP - Liv Lundelius. I live a very low-tox, sustainable life. The products I use at home, wear, the products I clean with, cook with, eat, the skincare, makeup and haircare I use. I’ve switched all of that over in the past years, to items that are good for the planet and mine and my families health. So it made sense to me, to hire a makeup artist that shared the same values and Liv brought her kit of natural, non-toxic, non-animal tested products. I was very insistent that I wanted to look like myself on my wedding day. Liv delivered a glowing, healthy, natural look that I absolutely loved.
MALA BEADS - Ava Jewels. When I approached Emma with a request to create a ‘marriage mala’ for us to incorporate into a blessing of the hands in our wedding ceremony, thankfully she was so love-filled that she couldn’t refuse. My personal mala for my own meditation practice was created by soulful Emma and the special custom mala Anth and I designed with her, holds just as much spiritual connection. It’s something Anth and I will draw upon and use for the rest of our lives.
CELEBRANT - Loving Love. Lena is one of the most gorgeous, motherly, kind women I’ve ever met. I knew the moment we sat down to meet and have coffee that she was the one. She got to know us and understand us. Lena allowed us to custom create our entire ceremony and with her guiding love-experienced hands, she created and delivered the most heartfelt half-an-hour of our life. Our guests were captivated and there were so many happy tears (including Lena’s!).
WEDDING STYLIST & FLORIST - Styled By Her. We knew when we decided to have a backyard garden party in suburbia, that we needed to bring in the big guns to transform the space. I knew without a doubt in my mind that Corey and her unbelievable level of creativity, hardwork and vision would create magic, but what she created blew our minds. It was a fairytale. Corey and her team came with 2 trucks - with every flower, chair, wine glass, cushion, rug, icebucket, curtain, vase, fairylight….and she become my fairy godmother that day!
PHOTOGRAPHER - The Salty Shutter. We honestly feel privileged to have had Dane capture our day. Anth and I don’t have a standard love story - it is deep, complicated, resilient yet delicate, and I knew we needed the right person to document the light at the end of our tunnel. I fell in love with Dane’s work instantly - it got me straight in the soul. He is a documentary-style photographer that felt like a best mate by the end of the wedding day. Dane works with pure passion, care and curiosity and with that, he did so much justice to our love story. The only way I can describe the photos he created: Sacred.
MUSIC - Michael Duchesne. Being a relaxed, intimate garden party, it was no place for traditional bands or multiple musicians. Enter Michael - a soulful, easy going, acoustic musician who set the vibe of our day so perfectly with his captivating voice and musical talent. Our guests are still raving about how amazing he was.
CATERER - Dan The Man Cooking. Anth and I place a lot of importance in our life, on good food. Good quality, nutritious, nourishing, seasonal, local and ethical. So our wedding day was always going to align with our values. Dan The Man delivered the most beautiful selection of grazing, share-style food and everyone loved it. Even our wedding suppliers said it was the best food they’ve ever eaten at a wedding! It was such a hit there weren’t many leftovers, but one of many perks to a wedding at home? We could enjoy our wedding food after the wedding as well.
Here is a soulful little something to leave you with, that we included at the end of our ceremony…
“Well, family and friends, we have just witnessed the marriage of two soulmates. A soulmate isn’t someone who completes you. No, a soulmate is someone who inspires you to evolve yourself. A soulmate is someone who doesn’t judge you, it is someone who sees your jagged edges, who sees the parts of you that have been weathered by life and who chooses to stand beside you. A soul mate is someone who is always encouraging you to heal on your own time, in your own way. Always encouraging you to keep going.”